Dualism Redux

September 10, 2009 at 2:47 am (Media Divinia, my funny valentine, Personal Insight) ()

A little too personal an odyssey this evening (likely that was the point), and due to my personal problems lately, I found myself drifting into the Sophian meditations this evening.

I became very much aware of darkness versus light, the push-pull of the awareness of the light in myself and others, and when that light becomes dimmed, through my own actions or the actions of others. This wasn’t an insight about assigning blame, however, although I admit responsibility for spreading darkness instead of light, lately. This is not a problem to feel guilt over, or beat myself up over, it is a matter of acknowledging it and then taking steps to change it.

I’m not the type for sharp, sudden changes, but I have been making the effort. The meditations tonight were insightful, not in a pleasant way, but the light of Truth has an ultimate neutrality that only human nature assigns positive or negative values to. I could make it all about the negative, and how I’ve failed or been mistaken, or I can take the opportunity to use the realizations in a positive manner to effect change.

I prevaricate. Perhaps the insight I gained tonight is not an appropriate subject for a public blog post. Much more metaphorical than I have gotten, in a long, long while.

The first meditation was very much about Sophia-as-child, who wanders away, exploring and curious, but losing sight of the thread that leads her back to the Ultimate. A squalling, quarrelsome child, which I may have come across as, of late. Time to change that. Time to pick up the thread again, and listen to that still, small voice, before I say/type things without considering them more than I have been.

The second meditation, the blind god and the prison-house of the world, led my mind down a path of apocalyptic imagery, where I admit I haven’t gone in quite a long time. I have long since re-interpreted the apocalypticism of the Christian canonical scriptures however, and I know now, that the apocalypses (multiple!) that the gospel texts speak of, are individual, personal journeys, not speaking of a literal global eschaton. Usually that’s a sign I need to make changes, pronto, or that changes are coming for me. (Like it or lump it.)

The third meditation was very much about grasping the thread back to the ultimate, of seeing the reflection of perfect wisdom in everything, as a good panentheist properly should. I’m not a good panentheist even on my best days. Witnessing the reflection of the Ultimate in this poor simulacrum of reality is what can lead one back along the golden thread to the Truth. Good, bad, or indifferent though that truth might be.

The fourth meditation was reflective of how that ingrained wisdom, that I know is there, but often refuse to listen to (far more often than I should) is what ultimately leads us all back to the Truth with a capital T, that unvarnished view of reality shown to those of us who choose to open our eyes and see. I thought about the third meditation from the Thomasine meditations, of the lost sheep loved best, and there was even some ministry tangentially related to the parable, although not presented in an allegorical manner.

The fifth and sixth meditations were very much about motion and rest, and the push-pull of darkness and light that is the eternal human condition. The final meditation was very much about following the golden thread, back to the Ultimate, and dwelling in the Truth therein.

A productive half-hour, and instructive in that I realized I have to start a daily praxis again. For the moment at least.

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